Mermaid Pirate Dispatch

The dimly lit stone basement of the castle reeked of wet fur, urine, and dung. A guard nervously stooped to unlatch the chain from my ankle, fumbling the key and struggling to unlock the metal shackle as the sound of irregular, rapid claws scraping echoed from around the corner, growling louder by the second. There was a sharp clang as the iron band released me and the guard quickly got to his feet and ran away, slamming the large metal door behind him.

The echoes of the door were still ringing out when my sentence clumsily rounded the corner and slammed into the opposite wall, its fat, oversized paws scraping comically along the hard, rough floor as it struggled back to its feet and took off in my direction again. My eyes bulged as the eight foot tall monster puppy bounded toward me, its ears flopping wildly while buckets of slobber flew from its massive mouth.

I saw a crazed, juvenile look in its eyes and I froze, unable to meet my fate with dignity. I waited for its teeth to sink into me, for the hot sting of impalement and maiming to overwhelm my senses as its massive jaws crushed my bones and shredded my flesh. Instead I was tackled violently to the hard stone floor in a shower of saliva instantly drenched me while its powerful tongue easily overpowered my arms which I held out in front of my face defensively. The rough, wet muscle pulled over my face aggressively while one of its massive paws pinned my legs down firmly to prevent the tongue from sliding me along the ground.

Eventually I managed to lock my arms over my face and the beast began nuzzling my body with its giant nose, pushing on me and lifting at my arms. It was only a puppy but given how large their species could be as adults, it was tiny. I managed to sneak a look back between its wagging tail while it poked and prodded me with its snout and I saw that it was a she.

Soon she backed up and sat, her great tail swinging back and forth with tremendous force as she watched me get up and wipe my face. She cocked her head and stared expectantly. I looked back, marveling at her size and strength.

“You’re… not going to eat me, huh?” I raised my eyebrows hopefully and smiled weakly. The giant puppy just watched me, waiting to see what I would do. I struggled to my feet, a deep, shooting pain stabbing into my head from where I had hit the ground moments earlier. I held it with my hand a moment and took it away to inspect for blood. Surprisingly, there was none, despite it feeling warm and wet. Slobber. I shuddered, wishing I could take a bath.

The young dog giant continued to watch me as I stood there assessing my situation. I looked back to the locked door and let my gaze wander the chamber I was in. It was at least thirty feet high, barely enough to contain the fully grown beast the empress used to keep down here. It was dark, stuffy, and impossible to escape. I took a step off to the side to wander around a bit but the dog jumped into action, bringing its face to the ground with its front paws fully extended and its tail wagging high in the air.

“Oh,” I said. “You want to play?”

The cavern erupted with a deafening, squealing yelp as the dog barked its approval excitedly.

“You’ll likely kill me trying to play with me,” I said warily. “Think you can try to be gentle?”

The puppy couldn’t understand me. She just stared at me looking happy and full of hope. I bent at the hips and put my hands on my knees, lowering my shoulders as best I could and prepared to run. I was sentenced to be thrown to the beast. If the empress expected me to die, I may as well die playing with a giant puppy.

I took off sprinting down a side corridor and heard the dog bark happily behind me as its dagger sized claws scraped along the stone. I had rounded two corners already by the time I heard the dog crash painfully into a stone wall and rebound off it. She had the advantage with an amazing sense of smell. I couldn’t outrun her or hide from her, but I could certainly out-maneuver her and take advantage of my head start.

Eventually though I took a wrong turn and found myself in a long hall, plenty long enough for her to catch me in a dead sprint. Sure enough, I heard the distant thud of her slamming into another wall and the thumping of her heavy paws as she dashed and tumbled down the hall toward me.

When she caught me she tripped and stumbled, rolling over me and enveloping me in her large, soft limbs while we slid and bounced along. When she finally skidded to a stop she seemed stunned, lying there as though she had no idea what had happened. I snuggled into her fur and spread my arms out in a hug. She seemed to like it, and settled herself into a resting position, trapping me in her coat that was padded with baby fat. To my surprise, she was taking deep, regular breaths before long and I decided to close my eyes as well.

We both fell asleep, though my bed was far more comfortable than hers. I cuddled into her and slept better than I had in a long time in my own bed.

Just before I dozed off I whispered, “You’re not such a scary beast,” and I smiled.

[Reddit Post]