Mermaid Pirate Dispatch

Hurfang tried to steady his breathing. Closing his eyes he pictured his true love, imagining in perfect clarity every inch of her seductive figure. He could see every detail of her beauty, down to the sparkle in her eye that he’d seen so many times while she effortlessly tore the heads clean off her victims’ shoulders with a flirty flick of her wrist.

The clang of armor rattled past his hiding spot and he froze, his lungs screaming for oxygen while he waited until it was safe to breathe again. Though the armored one had run by, Hurfang could still hear the tiny, soft breaths of another human-sized creature nearby. Soft, calculated footsteps crept along just around the corner, investigating the deep shadows of the corridor in which he waited.

A tear accumulated at the corner of his eye as he thought of his darling Penelope. He smiled, picturing the way she always dragged him into confrontations. He detested violence, but the way it made Penelope smile… he loved joining in the fray when she was by his side. He clenched his great clawed fists as he thought of her locked away in some dungeon. It boiled his blood to the point where he couldn’t contain his rage any longer.

Hurfang let out a wild roar and launched himself from the shadows, sending a rumble through the tunnels as he landed on all fours, poised to strike. A wide eyed man stood before him, frantically nocking an arrow and taking aim. Swiftly, Hurfang sent one of his powerful paws flying at the man, promptly knocking him out cold as the man’s lifeless body bounced off the hard stone wall. He heard shouting from around the corner and let out a bellowing cry to drown out their words, howling with a terrific power that made dust and rocks trickle from the ceiling.

The armored knight came skidding to a halt at the mouth of the corridor, his sword at the ready. Torchlight flickered off his scratched and tarnished metal plates, dulled by many long years of battle and adventure. Hurfang lunged forward, pounding the ground with both front paws, sending his full weight through his shoulders. The knight stumbled, falling flat on his back and only barely managing to get back up on an elbow before Hurfang had him pinned down, the cold metal armor screeching under his rough, hot paws. He dug a single claw into the space between the breastplate and the helmet, listening as the man’s screams grew fainter. Leaning forward, he felt a gentle pop as the metal suddenly flattened and the helmet was sent flying out of the hall, bouncing with sickening thuds and leaving a trail of blood as it skidded along the stone floor.

An unnatural blue glow pulsed from around the corner accompanied by the unmistakable drone of an incantation. Hurfang was immune to many spells, but not all. With his massive heart pounding deep in his cavernous chest, Hurfang bounded out into the open gallery ahead, locking on to his target with a snarl. A robbed wizard, with gyrating hands and closed eyes, was focusing power, preparing to strike. With an earsplitting roar Hurfang leaped toward the magic caster, jaws wide open revealing long, sharp teeth. It had been a while since he’d had human flesh, and magic users had always been the most tasty.

Just as the top half of the wizard cleared his fangs, the doomed man let out a final muffled shout and a brilliant orange light exploded from his hands inside Hurfang’s mouth. It singed his tongue and filled his throat with smoke, but the fireball was quickly snuffed out along with the wizard, who had barbecued himself just before being bitten in half.

Hurfang let the lower torso drop to the floor and he scanned the room looking for more. He was sure he’d heard a fourth person earlier. Indeed, he was positive. He could still hear their trembling breaths coming from a corner nearby.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Hurfang growled in his best human speak. “I only want my beloved Penelope released. If you will help me free her, I promise I won’t eat you.” As he spoke he prowled around, pretending not to know where the terrified man hid.

With a pathetic whimper, the man finally responded. “You promise? If I release her, you’ll spare me?”

Hurfang grinned. “Of course. I don’t even like the taste of human.”

A stout, plump man slowly emerged from the shadows holding a jangling ring of keys out in front of him. “I have the dungeon key here,” he said, shaking like a leaf in the wind. “Follow me, and I’ll unlock her cage.” The two stared at each other for a moment, then Hurfang nodded and lumbered behind the man as they made their way through a maze of passageways.

At long last they came to a giant metal grate mounted on hinges and locked closed with a huge padlock. The man fumbled the keys several times trying to open the lock, but eventually he grunted and heaved the lock free, dropping it to the ground with a loud crash. He instantly turned to run, but Hurfang pinned him against the wall with one of his massive paws.

“Not until she emerges,” he said. The man was hardly breathing under the weight of Hurfang’s grip. He let up a little and let out a long howl, calling to his love.

Soon he felt the ground trembling beneath his paws and his heart leaped for joy. From deep within the dark abyss of the space beyond the metal door, Penelope bounded into view, her gorgeous eyes full of love.

“You came for me!” she cried, tears shimmering in her eyes.

“Of course I did, my love,” he replied, smiling.

The man squirmed and gasped for breath. “You promised,” he wheezed, grabbing at Hurfang’s claws, trying in vain to pry himself free.

“I promised I wouldn’t eat you,” Hurfang said. Then he turned to Penelope. “I hope you’re hungry,” he said, grinning. “I brought you a snack.”