Mermaid Pirate Dispatch

Rogers peered around the room, unflinching and stoic. His large, black eyes darted from buck to buck, each one flinching tensely as his steely eyes pierced their defenses.

“It won’t be easy,” he grunted, grinding his teeth. “Some of you may die.” He sucked in some air, puffing out his chest, and let out a powerful, regal snort. He zeroed in on a pitiful, trembling member of the group. “You,” he barked. “You’ll be the first to go.”

The young buck winced and gasped, his eyes wide.

“What’s your name, recruit?” Rogers asked sternly.

The buck shrank, his lips quivering. “Harold,” he bleated, steeling himself and stomping down with a hoof.

“Nobody is forcing you to go on this mission Harold,” Rogers said as he began to pace back and forth along the front of the room. His great antlers swung gracefully around as he changed directions. He was a true stag, an inspiring sight, and any of the recruits who weren’t shaking were enamored, full of admiration and dreams. “That goes for all of you,” Rogers added, squaring with his audience. “Any buck who wishes to leave is welcome to leave. Just remember what you’re leaving behind. You’ll live the rest of your miserable lives wondering what glory and adventure you might have had. You’ll die as someone who chose safety and comfort over bravery and accomplishment.” He glared at Harold. “But you will be safe. And you will not be disgraced.”

A middle-aged buck cleared his throat in the back of the room. “What about the does?” he asked. “Can’t we bring some does on this mission?”

A lively murmur of agreement bubbled up from the crowd. Some of the deer were smiling, others shifting their weight uncomfortably.

“Absolutely not!” Rogers barked. He scanned the room maniacally, seething. “Don’t you bucks have any sense of pride? Any honor? Do you need your mommies to come and coddle you? Will you miss nuzzling your little doe friends and gazing into their big, dark eyes?” He stopped short, taking deep, heaving breaths. He was nearly foaming at the mouth, his great nostrils flaring wildly.

The room was silent. Not a single deer dared move a muscle.

“This mission,” Rogers continued, collecting himself, “is far too dangerous for even one doe. We need our largest stags, our most exemplar bucks. We need bucks who are consumed by curiosity, overtaken with a desire for adventure. We need heroes.” He paused and scanned the crowd dramatically. “So ask yourself, am I a hero? Do I deserve to go on this mission?”

He stood tall and proud, his snout raised a little higher than usual, his shoulders drawn back a bit more. But his look of pride slowly degraded into disgust. “I only have room for three bucks to join me on the ship. But the longer I look around this room the more I begin to think I might have to fill some of those seats with rocks and dirt. I don’t see any heroes here. I see a bunch of cowards.” He snorted and shook his head, lowering it in shame.

No one dared to breathe. One of the bucks twitched, his powerful hind leg muscle spasmodically driving away an imaginary fly. Rogers shot a deadly glare at the twitching muscle and the guilty deer froze, wide eyed and ready to die.

Rogers sighed and lowered his head again. “Go,” he said. “If you can’t handle the pressure, I don’t want you on my team.” He turned his back on the group. “All of you,” he groaned. “Just leave. Unless you’re going to rise to the occasion and prove to me that you are worthy, just go and stop wasting my time.”

Slowly the room filled with the sound of shuffling hooves, shameful snorts, and clacking antlers. After a while all was silent again. Rogers turned around slowly, half expecting to find the room entirely empty. He grinned menacingly. There were still a half dozen strong bucks remaining.

“Good,” he breathed. “Tomorrow we will begin your training. By the time I’m done with you, there will only be three left. Three bucks who will launch into space and go down in history as Star Bucks!”