Mermaid Pirate Dispatch

Everything adapts. Whether through willful, calculated decisions in response to external stimuli, or by sheer force of natural decree that you either adapt or you die.

Humans are often regarded as the champions of adaptation, having spread over nearly every available patch of land on our harsh, unforgiving world. Humans have conquered even the deadliest environments. We have outposts in uninhabitable frozen wastelands, research vessels that roam the deepest parts of Earth’s vast oceans, and even an orbiting research facility moving at over seventeen thousand miles per hour around two hundred and fifty miles above the surface of our planet.

Indeed, humans have conquered the unconquerable deserts, tamed the most unruly jungles, and overcome some of natures greatest challenges.

As impressive as these achievements may be, humanity hadn’t changed much in nearly three million years, at least not compared to dragons.

You see, humans lack one of the most potent tools in the game of adaptation: magic. Despite long-held fantasies among the greatest human dreamers and storytellers, humans never did learn to use magic. And most magical beasts were too stupid to make proper use of their abilities in the great evolutionary rat race. Unicorns died in the flood. Minotaurs were hunted to extinction by the Greeks. Griffins, believe it or not, simply fizzled out when they became uninterested in reproduction. And nobody is quite sure what happened to the mermaids. They were always seclusive and kept to themselves.

But dragons. These magnificent flying lords of the land, sea, and sky found themselves being hated and hunted, and as their numbers dwindled they held a council with their elders and decided to use their magic to survive. They underwent the greatest adaptive change ever seen in all of history. They became human.

However, their magic remains powerful and dangerous. They hide among us but use their powers for evil. It is said that money is the root of all evil, but in my experience, dragons are the root of all evil. These conniving, scheming creatures plot the downfall of nations. They start wars, hoard treasure, and ensure that humans always have plenty of degenerate distractions to prevent us from reaching our true potential.

For thousands of generations my family has carried the torch in a crucial fight for the good of humanity. We are dragon hunters. There were once many families who carried the dragon hunting mantle, but these days only a few families maintain the work.

Identifying a dragon isn’t difficult. You follow the trail of crime, corruption, violence, and greed. You learn to smell pure evil, you grow sensitive to the way it emanates from the flesh of a dragon like the sulfuric stench that rises from a swamp. And for your final bit of confirmation, you carry a special jade crystal that emits a gentle glow in the presence of a dragon.

Of course, finding the dragon is the easy part. Dragons are notoriously difficult to kill. They are too vain to reveal their true form in a way that would expose their existence, so as long as you avoid dragons in the middle of nowhere, you won’t have to kill one in its most potent, powerful state. But taking on a dragon in human form is no walk in the park. Their skin is resistant to all forms of blade, and all but the most powerful rifle rounds will smear against a dragon’s body like a paintball. Personally, I carry a 30-06, but some of my brothers carry elephant guns or .50 caliber rifles. Indeed, if you can properly identify your target and snipe them from a distance, that is the preferred killing method, but you can’t be too far away or the round will lose too much energy and splatter against their skin.

What you most want to avoid is any form of close quarters combat. All dragons possess superhuman strength, lightning quick reflexes, and superb fighting instincts. One of my relatives famously thought he could take on a toddler aged dragon, barely able to walk, and he was torn limb from limb.

One day I was monitoring police radio activity and a report came through about a petty crime in an area I had been monitoring for a while. Adding that to the other crimes in the area, my instincts were painting a clear picture: I would find a dragon there.

I left my weapon at home. I only needed to scout out the area and identify my target. We had the advantage. Identifying a dragon was easy, but dragons had no reliable way to identify us, as long as we were careful.

So I set out on my search. I kept the jade crystal in my palm and glanced at it frequently. The area I was searching was a commercial district with a ton of foot traffic. I kept my eyes peeled, mostly checking the street vendors, but also keeping an eye on the other businesses. Many dragons owned and operated shady businesses that served as fronts for much more insidious operations.

Suddenly I saw a hint of a glow in my palm and I stopped. I clamped my hand around the gem not wanting anyone to spot its glow. I took in my surroundings.

There was a hotdog cart on a nearby sidewalk. The footpath in this area wasn’t as densely packed, with only a few pedestrians passing every couple minutes. I was not in the heart of the commercial district. There were some tall office buildings by the hotdog stand and on the other side of the path there was an open field. I looked at the hotdog vendor. He was not a dragon. He was chubby and happy. I watched as a little street urchin begged him for a hotdog and he handed her one for free. It melted my heart. No dragon had ever melted my heart before.

The little girl was dressed in tattered rags. I cracked my palm open and checked, there was a strong glow coming from inside now. The little girl ran off silently and I continued to scan the area. There were no other people. Perhaps it was someone in the office building? But in my experience, the jade crystal’s range was short, only a few meters under most circumstances. I checked my palm again. The glow was more faint now.

My heart jumped. Could it have been the little girl? No, it couldn’t be!

I tried to remember which direction she had gone. Peeking behind the hotdog cart I saw an alleyway. I decided to check it out. I walked around and nodded at the man at the stand and made my way into the shadowy alley.

I couldn’t see anyone. There were dumpsters, boxes, and even an old car that had its windows smashed in and its tires removed. I kept walking and periodically checking the stone in my hand.

Suddenly, as I looked into my cupped hand, it began glowing fiercely.

“What are you doing here?” came a small but firm voice.

I turned and saw that the little girl was behind me. I looked at the stone again. It was shining brilliantly.

“I’m looking for someone.” I told her.

“Oh? Well you need to get lost. You wouldn’t want to find anyone you might be looking for here.”

I looked her over. Could she be the dragon responsible for all the crime in this area? “What’s your name?” I asked her.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You ask a lot of questions,” she said, annoyed. “If you must know, I’m an orphan. I grew up on the streets. I’m told I fell out of a window nearby and I was raised by a street gang.”

“What do you do now?” I asked.

“You want to find out?” she asked, smiling. “I couldn’t help but notice you have a pretty, glowing rock or something in your hand. I’ll take that.”

My heart jumped. Did she know what it was? If she was a dragon and she knew what it was, I’d be dead already. Was it possible she didn’t know? Was it possible she didn’t even know she was a dragon?

“You can’t have it,” I said.

“Then I’ll take it from you,” she said. She grabbed me firmly by the leg and in one swift move slammed me into the ground with such incredible force that it winded me. While I recoiled and gasped for air she pried the stone from my hand, sat down on the ground, and examined it. “It’s pretty,” she said. “How does it glow?”

Still fighting for air, I wheezed, “You don’t know what it is?”

She looked at me like I was stupid. “No. Should I?”

“Do you know what you are?” I asked cautiously.

“I told you, I’m an orphan. My parents threw me out a window and abandoned me. They didn’t love me. Nobody loves me.” She seemed angry on the surface, but I could tell her little heart just yearned to be loved.

This little girl was all alone, but singlehandedly causing a crime spike that the local police couldn’t understand or resolve. She was a menace, a threat to society, but… she didn’t realize who or what she was. The evil in her heart wasn’t causing her to attempt to overthrow society, it was merely driving her will to survive.

She looked at him bewildered. “Well, why are you still here? Why aren’t you screaming and running like most people do when they see how strong I am?”

I winced as I struggled to get to my knees. “Why are you so strong?” I asked, curious to see what she believed.

“I don’t know,” she said flatly. “I’ve just always been this way. They say it’s how I survived the fall from the window. It was all the way up on the 30th floor or something. That’s what they say anyway. Sounds ridiculous to me.”

“Yeah,” I said. “That does sound ridiculous.”

“Look,” she said. “You should go. The person you’re looking for isn’t here.” She looked down at the rock and thought for a long moment, then held it out to me. “Here, you can have it back, I guess.”

I looked at her, searching her eyes for any sign of malice. All dragons were malicious, right? All dragons were evil. Why was she handing back my jade crystal? “No,” I said. “Keep it. It’s yours. I have more like it.” I paused. “Besides, it doesn’t always glow for me, but it seems to like you.”

She smiled and looked down at it, the eerie green glow illuminating her face and reflecting off her glassy eyes. “Thanks,” she said.

I walked away cursing under my breath. She was a dragon. She had to die. She couldn’t be allowed to continue her crime spree, or reproduce later in life, for that matter. Of course, she’d have to get lucky and find another dragon to father her children. Dragons and humans could technically cross breed but it was complicated and often extremely dangerous for the mother.

I couldn’t sleep that night as I argued back and forth about the fate of that adorable little girl who didn’t know she was a dragon. I got up several times and paced. Eventually I broke out some strong whisky to help me forget the girl.

The next several weeks were agonizing. I walked past her alley several times but didn’t catch a glimpse of her. I didn’t want her to know I was watching her, yet I secretly hoped she’d spot me. I wanted to talk to her again, but I was worried that if I did I would only grow more sympathetic, and I wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger later if I had to.

Eventually, after much internal debate and conflict, I called my father and requested a gathering of the dragon hunter elders. This was an ancient council consisting of my grandfather and the patriarchs of any other living dragon hunting families. These families were spread across the globe and gathering the elders was a serious undertaking. Several younger members of the families had insisted the elders use modern videoconferencing technology for such gatherings, but they insisted that a proper council must be held in person.

As the day of the council approached I began to regret requesting they meet. What if I didn’t want her dead? Surely the council would say she should die. Could I condemn this innocent girl to die? But if I call a gathering of the council and don’t present a difficult, pressing matter, I would be shamed, ridiculed, and possibly banished from my family. It was a serious offence to request such a gathering only to waste the council’s time. The expectation was that I would present a difficult case, so I had to present a difficult case.

A thought entered my mind. What if I brought the girl with me so they could interview her and decide if she was a threat? Would they allow her to live then?

I had two weeks. I decided that was her best chance at survival. I woke up one morning and rushed to the alley. I ran to the spot where I had met her before and called out, “little girl? Hey! Remember me? I gave you the glowing rock!” I wandered around calling to her for several minutes. Nothing.

I left, worried, after nearly an hour of searching. I decided to try again the next day, then I remembered that last time I had found her it was lunch time. So I returned a few hours later and this time I found her.

“Hey,” she said, with almost a cheery pep in her voice. “You came back. Why?”

“I wanted to see you again,” I said.

“Well here I am.”

“Listen, my name is Richard. You never told me your name.”

She lowered her eyes. “I don’t know my name,” she replied.

“Well, what name would you like me to call you?”

She looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye. “Really?” she asked.

“Really. Pick a name.”

“I don’t really know many names,” she started. “What do you think I should be called?”

All I could think was that she was a dragon, and I never cared what their names were before. What kinds of names did dragons have? “How about… Darcy?”

She thought about it. “Hmmm. No, I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Delilah?”

“No,” she said thoughtfully.

“Diana?”

She paused and thought about it. “Um, yeah, I think I like that one.”

“Alright, Diana,” I said, “it’s nice to meet you. I think you’re a very special young lady.”

She smiled. “Thank you,” she said, “uh… what was your name again?”

“Richard.”

“Oh, right. Richard. Thank you Richard.”

Over the next two weeks I visited her every day. I brought her different foods she hadn’t tried before, learned more about her daily routines and the limited interactions she had with people, and we talked about how there might be a better way for her to live.

One morning I woke up and realized the council would convene the next day. My heart sank. I had been feeling so light and alive for the last two weeks. It had been a pleasure getting to know Diana, learning about the things she liked, the things she hated, the people she didn’t like, and the ones she loved. She and the hotdog vendor had such a sweet relationship. She had barely said two words to him, but she seemed to feel a kind of gratitude for him that most dragons never expressed.

My heart was racing as I left the house. I considered just scooping her up and running away with her. We could go into hiding and I could raise her as my own daughter. We could just hide from the dragon hunters together. I knew all of their tricks and tactics. I knew where most of the families operated. I could keep her from becoming a crime lord or a menace to society… right?

But she was a dragon. Could I really raise her to be human? No, she would always be a dragon in her heart.

“Richard!” she called out just as I appeared in the footpath by the alleyway. She ran over and wrapped her arms around my legs.

“Diana, I have to ask you something.”

She looked up at me and stepped away. I started walking into the alley and she took my hand and followed me. “Do you know why that rock I gave you glows?”

“No.” She said. “Is it magic?” We had only talked about magic for the first time a few days ago.

“In a way, yes. But really, it’s because you’re magical. I was using it to find special people who make it glow.”

She pulled it out of her pocket and looked into its foggy green interior. “I’m magic?” she repeated.

“My family searches for people like you.” I hesitated. “Normally, we don’t make friends with them, but you’re special. I want to bring you to my family so they can get to know you the way I have.”

She stopped walking and looked up at me with bewildered eyes. “Your family?” She looked down at the stone again. “I’ve always wanted a family,” she whispered just barely loud enough for me to hear. With tears in her eyes she looked back up at me and said, “I would really love to meet your family.”

Oh kid… if only you knew, I thought. “Great,” I said. “I’ll come by to get you in the morning and we’ll drive somewhere to meet them.”

“I get to go in a car?” she asked, excitedly.

My heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. I was almost positive the elders would not let her live. I left her with a hug and a reminder that I’d see her in the morning, and I went home with a slimy, rotten feeling in my heart, like I was about to betray someone I loved.

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I didn’t drink. I just cried.

The next day I picked up Diana and laughed as her little mind was blown by the simple car ride to my grandfather’s home about twenty minutes away. She held my hand as we ascended the grand staircase outside of his mansion and she looked around in awe as the doormen opened his massive front doors for us.

I paused and let her soak in her surroundings. There were suits of armor, jade columns, marble floors, thirty foot banners hanging from the ceiling, and many more opulent, historically significant details to take in. But my mind was racing. Up ahead a council of bigoted dragon-haters would likely unanimously decide that this dragon should be killed, and my status as a competent dragon hunter would be called into question. But… they could fall in love with her the way I had. Or I could take her and run. We could try to disappear.

Time froze to a halt as I weighed my options. My mind raced chaotically between the various scenarios and how they might play out. Dianna oohed and ahhed while I grappled with decisions that could very well determine whether she would die today or not.

The weight of the decision only grew as she held tightly to my hand, her life hanging in the balance of things she knew nothing of.

I shifted my weight, the shadow of a decision beginning to take hold in my mind. It was the most difficult decision I had ever made. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted the best outcome for Diana, if it was possible.

I pictured her living a normal life in the city, possibly with me, possibly in another home. She could have parents who cared for her and a warm bed to sleep in. She would never have to know she was a dragon. I could keep an eye on her, make sure no other dragon hunters went after her. I could watch for other dragons and keep them away from her. I could be her silent protector, shielding her from a world she didn’t know existed.

There was only one way to achieve that goal, we would have to convince the elders. I took a step forward and Diana followed, still clutching my hand. We entered the great room where over a dozen old men and a couple old women from various parts of the world sat huddled together in a cluster of chairs lined up in an arc at the far end of the room, chatting amongst themselves, not paying any attention to us. I led Diana to the center of the room and stopped.

Slowly our presence seized them and their chatter died down. They all faced us, watching us impassively. They all had grey hair. Many wore spectacles. Their wrinkly skin came in various colors and textures. They each wore a plain ceremonial robe that was part of the dragon hunting tradition. And around their necks they each wore a pendant with a jade crystal at the center.

Gradually they noticed the soft glow that was barely noticeable from where I stood with Diana. But they peered from side to side, glancing at each other’s pendants and back to us. My grandfather’s cane clanked against the marble floor, sending an echo around the large room as he stood up slowly and stepped forward, holding his pendant in his hand and watching as the glow became more intense with each step toward us. He looked at me with wide, confused eyes.

“Richard,” he began. “Grandson. What is the meaning of this? Why have you brought this…”

“Please!” I yelped, interrupting him.

I saw a glimmer of anger begin to grow behind his eyes, his jaw clenching.

“She… doesn’t know.” I said softly.

A hushed, chaotic, collective gasp rushed through the room. Pairs of elders turned to each other and whispered excitedly. My grandfather looked tired as he turned and shuffled back to his seat, leaning on his cane and sitting down laboriously. He ignored the quiet clamor and just gazed at Diana and me blankly, as though pondering a million thoughts at once.

Eventually he gave two sharp stomps on the marble with his cane and everyone went silent.

“Explain yourself grandson,” he said. “You know it is a serious crime to call the elders together and waste our time.” His words were sharp and cutting, soft and commanding.

“This is Diana, she is an orphan living on the streets. She doesn’t remember any of her early childhood. All she knows is that she is special. She can make the jade crystal glow. She is very strong.” I laughed nervously. “She doesn’t mind showing you how strong she is, if you’d like…” I trailed off. They weren’t amused.

“Why didn’t you do your job?” one of the female elders asked carefully.

I looked down at Diana who looked up at me with a puzzled face.

“She is good.” I said.

This was, apparently, too much for them. Murmurs and whispers erupted again.

I raised my voice and continued. “She isn’t evil. Sure, she’s been living on the streets alone and she’s had to steal, but any orphan boy or girl would have to find a way to survive, and that’s all she’s done.” I looked down at her and smiled. “There is a hotdog stand near where she lives, and the man who runs it gives her…”

“Enough!” bellowed one of the elders, a burly, stocky man who looked like he carried boulders around for fun. He rolled his eyes and sneered at me. “This is ridiculous. We all know what needs to be done. Why was this meeting called? Just so we could all laugh at Richard here for not having the balls to do what is necessary?”

“I’m begging you,” I said, addressing him. “She deserves a chance. She’s innocent. She doesn’t know anything. She’s not part of this conflict. Let me raise her. If there are problems later down the road, we’ll deal with them.” I was pleading with them, my voice high, tears ready to flow.

The burly man was shaking his head. My grandfather looked past me and nodded, a signal that I soon understood as I heard the the doors boom behind me and a heavy drawbar was dropped into place barring the doors shut.

I looked at my grandfather, eyes wide. “No,” I gasped. I looked down at Diana. She looked scared. I picked her up and turned on my heels and ran. I barreled through one of the doormen and kicked fiercely at the other one who fell over. “Diana,” I said tersely. “Do you think you can open that door?” I pointed at the newly blocked doors.

She ran over while I dealt with a doorman who was getting to his feet. Before I knew it the drawbar splintered and the doors swung open. Dragon hunters had grabbed their weapons and I could hear them running toward us.

“Good job!” I cried. I picked her up again and dashed out, barely keeping from tumbling down the steps. I practically threw Diana into the car, leaped over the hood, and got the engine started. I saw dozens of men pouring out from the mansion, some rushing down the steps, others stopping on the porch and taking aim with their firearms.

I floored it. If I could get enough distance between us their rounds would have no effect on her. I didn’t even stop to think about what one of those rounds would do to my soft, inferior body, even from over a mile away.

A shot rang out, but we were far enough away that the bullet had already passed us and I had seen a spray of dirt off to the side. Another shot sliced through the roof of my car.

I began evasive maneuvers. I swerved randomly, trying not to lose too much momentum. A window shattered. My heart was racing. I glanced briefly over to Diana in my passenger seat. She was terrified. I estimated we were out of the danger zone for her, so I reached over and took her hand and said, “Don’t worry, they can’t hurt you now.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes, her lip quivering.

The shots stopped when I finally rounded a bend. It wasn’t over. They were surely giving chase. I needed to find a place to hide with Diana, then we had to make a plan to disappear. The only person I could think of who might help was my mother, but they’d look for us there. It was a necessary risk though. We needed help.

I sped recklessly down the road desperately, trying to imagine where we might be able to go to hide. But deep in my heart, I knew this was right. From the beginning I had wanted to cradle this poor little child in my arms and see her grow into a bright, powerful force for good. And I believed it could happen. Despite a lifetime of conditioning and generations of prejudice, I knew this little girl could go on to do great things with her life.

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